Straight guy with gay guy
Sexual identities and sexual behaviours don’t always match because sexuality is multidimensional. Many people recognizesexual fluidity, and some even identify as “mostlystraight.”
Fewer people realize that some men and womenhave same-sex encounters, yet nonetheless perceive themselves as exclusively straight. And these people are not necessarily “closeted” gays, lesbians or bisexuals.
When a closeted gay or bisexual male has sex with another man, he views that sex as reflecting his secret identity. He is not open about that identity, likely because he fears discrimination. When a straight man has sex with another man, however, he views himself as straight despite his sex with men.
In my book, Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America, I investigate why some men who identify as linear have sex with other men. Large nationally exemplary surveys show that hundreds of thousands of vertical American men — at least — have had sex with two or more other men. This finding represents a disconnect between identity and behaviour, and researchers from around the world - in the United States, Australia and the U.K. - have studied this topic.
It invol
This article originally appeared on VICE Italy.
Ask VICE is a series where readers ask VICE to solve their problems, from dealing with unrequited love to handling annoying flatmates. Today, we’re hoping to aide someone who is bewildered about their same-sex attraction to a friend.
Hey VICE,
I can’t stop thinking about having sex with a close friend of mine and it’s weird because I’ve never, in my 23 years, been attracted to men before. Of course, I notice when a guy is superb looking – I’ve always owned up to that – but I’ve only ever been sexually interested in women.
Now, though, I’m having dirty thoughts about my friend – when I see him, when I look him up on social media, when I masturbate – ever since he broke up with his girlfriend six months ago. He’s bisexual and has started hooking up with men too, so I keep thinking: ‘Why not with me?’
I’ve even tried watching gay porn to understand my situation better, but I didn’t like it. At the same time, I sense almost too good when I’m around him – our bromance moments disarm me. He knows this too, and he plays into it quite a bit. A week ago, he said he was drunk and kissed me. He told me maybe it’d be better if we went home
I recently finished reading Dr. Robert Garfield’s terrific new guide, Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship, and last week participated in a joint interview with him by Dr. Dan Gottlieb on WHYY (National Widespread Radio) in Philadelphia. This all got me thinking about my own friendships and those of my gay male clients. The bonds between gay men and straight women have been written about and featured in popular media (i.e. Sex in the City, Will and Grace), though a lot less has been said about how same-sex attracted and straight men recognize and negotiate the distinct challenges, complications, and rewards of their friendships.
Source: istock
According to Garfield, among the many obstacles to male-male platonic intimacy, hesitate of homosexuality looms large. Straight men fret that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which in their minds means feminine (horrors!), feeble, and perverted. Perhaps even scarier is that their passionate connections will somehow morph into sexual attraction. Interestingly, in the U.S., before there was such a thing as a gay self, some straight men would, with short-lived shame, engage in sexual contact with other men (usually allow
By Karen Blair, Ph.D., and Trent University Students Laura Orchard and Bre O'Handley
“We fell into each other’s arms because of our similarities in our career and because of our age and because we fancy the same sort of things.” This quote could quite likely be the beginning of a wonderful romance story, but instead, it is a quote about friendship delivered toThe Huffington Post by Sir Ian McKellen about his decade’s long friendship with Sir Patrick Stewart.
The two men first came to know each other well on the set of the first X-Men motion picture in 1999, and although the duo played adversaries on the silver screen, offscreen, they were developing a fasten friendship. On the set, the two men had adjoining trailers, where they spent more occasion getting to realize each other than in front of the camera. By the end of filming, they had discovered how much they had in common, and to this day, they share one of Hollywood’s most well-known friendships.
Both actors are often photographed together doing mundane things, such as walking a boardwalk while deep in conversation. Perhaps one of the reasons their friendship has drawn so much accepted attention is the duality of their sexual identitie
Why do some straight men have sex with other men?
According to nationally-representative surveys in the United States, hundreds of thousands of straight-identified men have had sex with other men.
In the new book Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America released today, UBC sociologist Dr. Tony Silva argues that these men – many of whom enjoy hunting, fishing and shooting guns – are not closeted, bisexual or just experimenting.
After interviewing 60 of these men over three years, Dr. Silva found that they appreciate a range of relationships with other men, from hookups to sexual friendships to secretive loving partnerships, all while strongly spotting with straight culture.
We spoke with Dr. Silva about his book.
Why do straight-identified men have sex with other men?
The majority of the men I interviewed reported that they are primarily attracted to women, not men. Most of these men are also married to women and prefer to have sex with women. They explained that although they loved their wives, their marital sex lives were not as active as they wanted. Sex with men allowed them to contain more sex. They don’t consider sex with men cheating and s