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  • Swashbuckled:

    "Now this is the tale of Captain Crashride, by his crew condemned and damned
    And if that wasn't bad enough, they replaced him with a baldy man
    Now his ghost haunts the sea, eternally he's doomed to wander
    Mayhap you'll hear his deathly cry: "Come on, son, buy a Honda!"

  • The ending to their cover of "You Are A Pirate", which has one of them muttering "Ya gobshite" at the end.
    • "Yo ho, ahoy and avast! Being a pirate is really badass!"
    • The fact that they covered it in the first place. It's from LazyTown.
  • And that's not even the only cover a kid's show tune they've done. Ever wanted to hear them cover "Pirate's Scorn?" Wish granted.
  • The entire bonus footpath "Questing Upon the Poop Deck," especially the penultimate line: "This song's not about anal sex."
  • Fucked With an Anchor is about a pirate who has been cursed with an incredibly foul mouth by a witch doctor. The chorus is especially filthy.

    Fuck! You! You're a fucking wanker! We're gonna punch you right in the balls!
    Fuck! You! With a fucking anchor! You're all cunts, so fuck you all!

    • They also made an even sillier version with all swears replaced with Big, Stup

      *Editor’s note:

       Dear security,

      Thanks for saying “Fuck you!” to the heat, staying clear throughout the morning, for being rad, and protecting all of our sorry asses. Extra points for those that enjoyed the shows but stayed attentive and chatted with us. We devote you long moment k!

      Sincerely,

      The enthusiastic hooligans/fans XOXO*

      Previously on our quest in the Q, we got fucked up by Municipal Waste while we started a punk “Revolution” while making a trip down to “Mexico” where we had three margaritas and a taco before doing that quasi mosh fighting alongside the mighty Candiria. Now that the dust had settled, Jenny Oh was searching for the best spot on the rail for the GWAR display while Chuggo was sulking because he missed his first future ex-wife’s recital. Wait what? You don’t know what the hell we’re talking about? I guess you should read part 1 then huh, buddy?

      Jenny Oh: Future ex- wife? First? What are you blubbering about Klown?

      Chuggo the Klown: Okay, first of all you are over magnifying. It’s future ex- girlfriend! Who happens to be Unused Years Day’s, Ash Costello.

      J: Oh dude, not this again. *massages temples*

      C: Secondly, as for the

      Источник: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cr6kYiEvMQl/


      NoFlash Photography

      Scottish pirate metal band Alestorm brought their drunken antics the the US and kicked off their newest tour. With shows across the states (but none in Pennsylvania!), the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach was their second stop. The beach town was a perfect host for piraty debauchery.

      Opening the show was Canadian metal band Lutharo. Lutharo has a unique sound that’s a mix of thrash, control, and melodic death metal, with both catchy riffs and hard-hitting power. It’s always refreshing to see women in metal, especially doing lead vocals, and vocalist Krista Shipperbottom is incredible. She perfectly balances the mix of genres and owns the stage from begin to end. Lutharo got the strength set high for the rest of the night.

      Right in the middle of the show was power metal band Gloryhammer. Gloryhammer is one of the most prominent names in power metal, with their intense melodic songs that are filled to the brim with storytelling. The narrative-driven music translates into an exciting reside show, with each band member showing their respective characters and interacting with each other as such. It’s very reminiscent of D&

      alestorm gay dolphin

      It’s been a hell of a long time since ALESTORM last graced the Finnish club scene, and it has been distant overdue. This Scottish metal band is known for pirate themes, drinking songs, being purely ridiculous, and having some catchy harmony to boot, so we made sure to produce the trip to Nosturi on March 6th, 2019, to see just how bonkers their show would get. Check out the full gallery here.

      We managed to get to Nosturi before the finish of SKÁLMÖLD‘s set. I’ve seen these guys once before, opening for ELUVETIE back in 2015, and my opinion of them remains much the same: there is some value in their music certainly, but their vocals are just no good and the end result is just aggressively mediocre in the already over-saturated pagan/folk genre. I think they’ll have to switch vocalists or really up their game to ever really change my opinion, though they did put on an energetic show to a rather decent crowd.

      ALESTORM took the stage after Frankie Laine‘s theme for Blazing Saddles acted as an introduction. It was nice to see their giant rubber ducky is still joining them on tour. I’ve always famous these guys have a flair for the we