Why do straight men watch gay
Why do some linear men have sex with other men?
According to nationally-representative surveys in the Joined States, hundreds of thousands of straight-identified men have had sex with other men.
In the modern book Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America released today, UBC sociologist Dr. Tony Silva argues that these men – many of whom relish hunting, fishing and shooting guns – are not closeted, bisexual or just experimenting.
After interviewing 60 of these men over three years, Dr. Silva initiate that they adore a range of relationships with other men, from hookups to sexual friendships to secretive loving partnerships, all while strongly identifying with straight culture.
We spoke with Dr. Silva about his book.
Why do straight-identified men have sex with other men?
The majority of the men I interviewed reported that they are primarily attracted to women, not men. Most of these men are also married to women and prefer to have sex with women. They explained that although they loved their wives, their marital sex lives were not as active as they wanted. Sex with men allowed them to own more sex. They don’t consider sex with men cheating and s
Does watching gay porn make you gay?
I have a question for you but I would prefer to remain anonymous. I'm just gonna be straightforward and ask away. I am a longtime watcher of porn, I enjoy it very much and, for some reason, I'm able to acquire off to gay porn. I know that I'm not attracted to men in real life at all. So my ask is: Is it normal for a straight bloke to do this?
— Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
So, in a recent episode of "Family Guy" (pants down, the funniest show on TV), Peter Griffin summarizes his daughter's Christian abstinence program: "Premarital sex turns linear people gay and gays into Mexicans. Everybody goes down a notch."
My point, and I execute have one, is that I don't think you're slipping down a notch in Peter's eyes. It would be easy to think you're so far into the closet that you're crowding out the skeletons, but I don't think that's the case.
You only have to see the very genuine phenomenon of lesbians who watch gay porn to see my point. They don't watch it for the men; they monitor it for the force dynamics that they can bring in to their own beds.
For example, masculinity turns on many lesbians. They want to see it, emulate it and ap
As a culture, we’ve begun to awaken in recent decades and acknowledge various previously unspoken manifestations of sexuality and eroticism, and we’ve devised and revised new labels for them, such as LGBTQ, pansexual, asexual, demisexual and more. These can sometimes help people self-identify and find a community they can feel at abode in, and they can also work for as an instrument for self-advocacy and empowerment.
“Sexual fluidity” is a term that’s helped some, particularly younger people, perceive a sense of community. It means that someone’s erotic desires and attractions can cross boundaries and/or evolve over time to another gender. This seems to me to be a excellent development. But there’s one label that isn’t bringing collective or helping people feel at home: “male sexual fluidity.” When it comes to this label, it appears we’re still caught up in some cultural prejudices and stigmatization.
Source: istock by Getty Credit: Prostock-Studio
Male sexual fluidity
In my practice, I appear across many men who identify as straight but participate in having sex with men or are attracted to watching gay porn. They’re attracted to sexual behaviors with men, not necessarily to the men. Som
I caught my husband watching gay porn and he admitted he's seen it before. Does that express he's gay?
I recently came into the bedroom to find my husband of 25 years asleep with his iPad on his lap. When I got a closer look, I was shocked to observe he had been viewing gay male porn.
When I woke him up and asked him about it, he admitted to looking at all types of porn, including threesomes and videos from lgbtq+ men-specific sites. I've also come across targeted ads on our home desktop, so I have reason to believe he's watched it there too.
My gut reaction is that direct men don't look at gay men porn — or do they?
- Arlington, Texas
Dear Arlington,
When you grab a longtime partner doing something you've never seen them do or even talk about before, it can be quite a shock. Add pornography consumption, a topic that's taboo in our society, into the mix, and I can understand why you're so taken aback by your discovery.
But sexual pleasure isn't as cut-and-dry as you may think. There's a whole spectrum of sexuality that goes beyond "gay" and "straight," including of course bisexuality, so it's possible for your husband to be totally
Where the women at? It's hard to imagine heterosexual men sitting on the Barcalounger fast-forwarding through male lover porn, but they probably couldn't find a excel way to learn how to please women.
My acquaintance, blogger Susan Walsh, came up with the concept of straight guys watching gay porn as an educational, er, tool. She was researching academic articles about porn's influence on male sexual behavior when she happened on to the idea. She wanted to know if unbent men could get anything out of gay porn (other than a soft-on).
I selflessly helped with the research (it's amazing how time flies when you're doing work you enjoy!) Here's what we came up with: As a straight woman, Susan initiate straight porn generally repulsive -- unbearably phony, mechanical, and in many cases, demeaning to women. As a gay guy, I found it merely nauseating, but for different reasons. I mean, really. Can't the industry find better-looking men?
Susan was shocked at how much male lover porn aroused her. Me, not so much. She figured it was the higher penis to vagina ratio, but I disagreed. The ratio was okay. I suspected it wasn't the content (or the action) that aroused her; it was the approach. To prove