Al bundy gay marriage quote

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  • Al: Son, let this be a lesson to you: never do tequila shooters within a country mile of a marriage chapel.
  • Peggy Bundy: It's amazing. Your Dodge, with a lofty Blue Book value of seventy dollars, sliced right through that Kraut-car appreciate toast. I'm tellin' you, it is times appreciate these I am haughty to be an American.
  • Al: [on the phone] Hello, Jim's Fish, Chips & Insurance? This is Al Bundy. Yeah, I'm pleasant . Jim, I want to ask how much would it cost to attach my son to my auto insurance plan? How old? Let me observe. Bud, how old are you?
  • Bud: Sixteen, Dad.
  • Al: [into the phone] He's sixteen.
  • [pause]
  • Al: What? If you consider I'm gonna pay that much, you're as idiotic as those cats you trap and call tuna!
  • [pause]
  • Al: Jim, when you insult my wife, you don't hurt me.
  • Peggy: What'd he say about me, Al?
  • Al: Nothing I haven't already said myself!
  • [into the phone]
  • Al: Seriously Jim, I require to ask, is this the best you can do for a lifetime friend and someone who did not tell the police and the local health board what your catch of the night really was?
  • [pause]
  • Al: Oh, skillfully if you want to be that way, you can tak

    Married... with Children, Season 5

    Al:
    Son, you are looking at the proud owner of Section 32 of Lake Chicamacomico! I just used my $1,000 for the final payment.

    Bud:
    Where is Kelly?

    Al:
    She took off to Wisconsin with some of the bikers from the wedding. No worries, I am sure she can find her way home.

    Bud:
    How about Mom?

    Al:
    A one-way ticket to Hawaii cost about $1,000. She took her accordion, so she can busk on the streets of Kaneohe until she earns enough to reach back home. Shows Bud a picture from booklet These redwoods are over a millenium old. I am going to slash down one of these babies so the stump can be a build for my satellite dish! Jefferson enters Bundy residence

    Jefferson:
    Well Al, you sure have gotten my marriage off to a excellent start. Considering my past, I cannot be too mad at you for scamming Marcy, but I am more annoyed you betrayed my confidence. Oh well, we have goodwill between us, and I am looking forward to domestic suburban life with the little woman.

    Marcy{roaring from D'Arcy residence}:
    JEFFERSON, Fetch YOUR WORTHLESS BUTT IN HERE, NOW!!

    Jefferson:
    Got to go.

    Bud:
    Mr. D'Arcy, tolerate me for asking, but what were you in p

    Edit

    • Al Bundy: [with long hair] Don't you think I want to get a haircut, Peg? Do you think I like obese guys in granny glasses asking me if I like the new Gone album? But I'm trying to make a declaration here! I'm saying, let's not let the barber disappear! God knows they've taken everything else away from us in the so-called name of progress! They take the pinball machines and give you video games! What act I care if a monkey can make it to the top of a building? Unless he's going up there to throw off his wife, it doesn't matter to me! I want flippers! I want steel balls! And I want my barber, damn it!
    • Al Bundy: Look, it's all over for Louie. And, Russ? You're slipping! But we've got a chance. Here's what we gotta do: we go out and find a fire hydrant, we turn that sucker on, we stick our heads in the hole and wash the same-sex attracted away!
    • Norris: You mean move outside? Without nets?
    • Al Bundy: I think we finer hurry. And afterwards, no matter how long it takes, we find a barber. A *real* barber!
    • Kelly Bundy: What if he looks like a geek? Can we laugh?
    • Peggy Bundy: Kelly, he's your father. Of course we can!
    • Al Bundy: Whe al bundy gay marriage quote


      Ares501 - Mr Green
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      Al Bundy Quotes

       
      • No, Peg
      • Let's rock.
      • Go away, Peg.
      • A fat woman came to the shoestore today...
      • I'm the only guy in the world who has to arouse up to acquire a nightmare.
      • A man's home is his coffin.
      • Women - can't dwell with them.... The End.
      • Women - can't live with them, can't herd them all to Canada.
      • WOMEN - can't live with them...can't kill them
      • Entertainment for the cave man was simple: Man kills food, woman burns it, giant pterodactyl swoops down, chases woman, woman falls in mud. A good laugh is had by all.
      • Peg, I suspect your mind, much like the beaten continent of Atlantis, no longer appears on any chart.
      • I hate animation, life hates me.
      • I'm so upset I can hardly eat this sandwich! (He says so but eats the sandwich anyway)
      • I'm so hungry I could eat a vegetable!
      • I touch so good--I'm almost happy.
      • Am I truly nothing? Could the neighborhood children be right?
      • Now wait a second. My pretty teenage daughter--with the mind of a fruit-fly--earned a thousand dollars in three nights... should I be worried?
      • The only power I sensed was that of the mighty forces unleashed by beans!
      • Ok, here's another idea. Let's toss this in


        * I'm Maharaja Bundy and women with 4 hooters feed me Ding Dongs all day.

        * Hey, Marcy, what's holding the towel up?

        * I never wanted to get married, I got married. Never wanted kids, I have 2 of them. Why the hell am I here?

        * Think of our motto: We ain't got it.

        * Standing here with my loving family, I wonder why I'm running from the axe.

        * I'm going back to Chicago; where I only die a little every day.

        * Envy me. That's my wife. Those are my kids and I trade womens' shoes.

        * It must be your mother. Tell her I said 'oink'.

        * Peg, did your mother get so fat she spread across the border?

        * I'm not paying for mistakes. I've been doing that since I got married.

        * If you want something fixed right, get an ugly guy to do it.

        * I'd invite you in but instead I think I'll just beat the crap out of you.

        * I'm married with children.

        * Strike!!

        * It's only a game if you triumph but if you lose it's a stinking waste of time.

        * If God had wanted women to play ball, he would've made them men.

        * Guys may come and guys may move, but daddy's always daddy... well, at least until he jumps a freight train.

        * Peg, is there any reason this cactus is where my alarm clock should be?

        * I ha